Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Membership Cancellations Worth Reading

Superman was asked to leave the gym.  "The girlfriend" made a point to come in and cancel her membership.  (That she hasn't paid for in two months and is in collections).  The throwing of the weights is a story for another day.

Thursday, November 7, 2013

Love and Marriage

Me:  Did Superman get divorced?

Karate kid: No

Then why is kissing that girl?

Oh that...  That girl is "in their marriage" now

WTF does that mean?

Actually, I got drunk and well "you know" with her.  Then I went and got an STD test.  Superman overheard me telling someone that the test came back clean.  Next thing I know she's coming in here with superman and his wife...  Oh yeah.. and she's 17...

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

1973 Cadillac Hearse

Over a year ago I was approached by a member of one of the area mega-churches.  They had been storing some gym equipment for one of their members that was having some financial difficulty and the member had vanished.  They were paying $300 per month for a storage facility and if I donated to their fundraiser, they would give me all of the equipment.  the equipment was in decent shape so I figured that I could just clean it up and resell it when I had some time.  I posted an ad on Craigslist last week and wouldn't you know the original owner of the equipment resurfaced.

Are these the items I donated to the church?

Me:  We bought them from a storage unit.

Interested in a trade?

Me: What do you want to trade?

I have brand me Steel Flex gym equipment I have brand-new in a box Olympic Flat bench Olympic Incline Olympic decline flat/decline and also have a 1973 Cadillac hearse

Me:  Never responded... but am considering the hearse

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

NO Smoking IN THE GYM!!

Hi all,

I've had several members complain to me about the smoking in the gym.  You can imagine how surprised I was by this.  Let me remind you, this is a health club.  Smoking of any kind is not permitted.  This includes the electronic cigarettes that some of you I'm told are smoking at the front desk.

Thanks!
Serena

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Here's Your 20

The theme this week is counterfeit bills.  As if no one would realize that the "1" was now a "20" in black ink.  Turns out the Santa faces are legit.  You can buy them for $3.50.  Yes, that's right, you can buy a Santa face for three dollars and 50 cents to put on your one dollar bill...