Locked In

Actual text from member:

I know you are on vacation but Tat's kids are locked in his truck and it's 90 degrees!  I wanted to let you know because another member is about to call 911.

I don't even know how to respond.  Oh look at that, I just lost my signal...

Monkey Joe's or Athletic Club?

48 hours later I'm 3,000 miles away and I start to receive emails and texts asking me why there are kids climbing all over the gym equipment and something about toilet paper in the womens locker room...

Hey, It's Serena.  What's going on there?
Staff:  What do you mean? I thought you were in Alaska?
I am, but I am receiving weird messages about there being kids climbing all over the gym equipment.

Staff:  Ohhh... Yeah... Tat has been bringing his kids with him since you left.  Besides being in the gym, all over the equipment, the daughter toilet papered the womens' locker room and pumped out all of the soap, shampoo & conditioner and smeared it all over the mirrors and the lockers.  I've also heard that someone saw her going to the bathroom on the carpeted floor of the locker room.

Is Tat there?  Put him on the phone. NOW!

Tat: Hi Serena!  How's your vacation?

Well, it would be better if your kids were in the kids' club and not destroying my gym.  Seriously Tat, GET IT TOGETHER!  If those kids cannot stay in the kids' club they cannot come to work with you.  I do not want to hear one more thing about this while I'm on vacation.  And you can either clean up the womens' locker room yourself or you can call the cleaning lady and have her come in today and pay her yourself to clean up your daughter's mess. 

Tat:  I asked my daughter about it and she said she didn't do it. 

Half a dozen people saw her doing it and then called me.  She's lying to you.  Clean it up and keep her and your son in the kids' club.

Where the *&#@ is Tat?

Does anyone know where Tat is?  He has missed his first two appointments and isn't answering my calls or texts.
Staff:  He said something yesterday about having to take his kids somewhere
Really?  You'd think he would have called his clients and rescheduled.
Staff:  Uhhh... He might be avoiding you because he knows you're going on vacation tomorrow...

"You think you know EVERYTHING!"

Me:  I know you leave everyday at 12:30 and I'm paying you to be here until 2. 

Mean Lady:  (long silence with a shocked expression on her face)

Me:  So what's it going to be?  Do you want to part ways and I'll still be a reference for you?  Do you want to stay and going forward try not to offend children and their parents?  I'd like you to be here the entire time that you are writing on your timesheets.

Mean Lady:  Maybe if you would talk to your employees, you would actually know what is going on.

Me:  That's what I thought we were doing right now.  My issue is that two people have cancelled their memberships because "Mean Lady does not get along with my kids" and "Mean Lady seemed very annoyed that I brought my child in and he was the only one there, almost like she was trying to get rid of us because she had somewhere to be."  I checked their log ins and they were both getting here around noon, so I'm guessing that their perception was dead on.  If they worked out for an hour when they got here at 12, you would not be able to sneak out at 12:30.

Mean Lady:  You think you know EVERYTHING!  I'm done.

The Mean Lady

Me:  What's with that kid?
Staff:  Oh... Yeah... Well... (long silence)
Me:  Well, spit it out!  What is going on?  That is the second kid in two days that has pitched a fit when his mom is dropping off at kids' club.

Staff:  We've been seeing this a lot lately and the kids have been calling the daycare lady "the mean lady"
Me:  What is she doing in there? 

I can't believe you fired...

Well. first off I didn't fire her. She's on probation for reasons that I'm quite sure she would not like me to share with members.

Member: She just walked into the gym crying hysterically, saying that you had fired her.

Me: I just told you that I did not fire her. But I'm considering changing my mind because after I put her on probation for one week, she ran to the first member that would listen and started gossiping.

Member (shouting): You don't know what you're doing, she's great!!! The men at the gym don't like her because they're all pumped up on steroids and their "roid rage" makes them hate her. Blah, Blah, Blah... More shouting...

Me: Do you have a couple of minutes? Sit down. I don't feel comfortable sharing everything but let me give you a "glimpse" into my world... Members quitting becasue of bar fights, empty liquor bottles in the trash, disappearing acts, smoky!!, ...

Member: Oh, yeah... I guess I didn't look at the big picture. I think I'll get back to my workout.

Affair or Serial Killer?

So every day at 11:20 am, a member scans in (fully dressed in a suit and tie) and sits on the leg extension machine (not using it, just sitting) for about 10 minutes. Then he disappears??