Locked In

Actual text from member:

I know you are on vacation but Tat's kids are locked in his truck and it's 90 degrees!  I wanted to let you know because another member is about to call 911.

I don't even know how to respond.  Oh look at that, I just lost my signal...

Monkey Joe's or Athletic Club?

48 hours later I'm 3,000 miles away and I start to receive emails and texts asking me why there are kids climbing all over the gym equipment and something about toilet paper in the womens locker room...

Hey, It's Serena.  What's going on there?
Staff:  What do you mean? I thought you were in Alaska?
I am, but I am receiving weird messages about there being kids climbing all over the gym equipment.

Staff:  Ohhh... Yeah... Tat has been bringing his kids with him since you left.  Besides being in the gym, all over the equipment, the daughter toilet papered the womens' locker room and pumped out all of the soap, shampoo & conditioner and smeared it all over the mirrors and the lockers.  I've also heard that someone saw her going to the bathroom on the carpeted floor of the locker room.

Is Tat there?  Put him on the phone. NOW!

Tat: Hi Serena!  How's your vacation?

Well, it would be better if your kids were in the kids' club and not destroying my gym.  Seriously Tat, GET IT TOGETHER!  If those kids cannot stay in the kids' club they cannot come to work with you.  I do not want to hear one more thing about this while I'm on vacation.  And you can either clean up the womens' locker room yourself or you can call the cleaning lady and have her come in today and pay her yourself to clean up your daughter's mess. 

Tat:  I asked my daughter about it and she said she didn't do it. 

Half a dozen people saw her doing it and then called me.  She's lying to you.  Clean it up and keep her and your son in the kids' club.

You may NOT be a grown up if...

your mommy keeps calling me because she's unhappy with your schedule.